


at another place in time (you were infinitely mine)

by coffeeren



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, akechi is affection starved, ren just wants to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22621417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeren/pseuds/coffeeren
Summary: It's too late for him. It's been too late for him for too many years to count, but Ren stubbornly, stupidly refuses to believe it, and Goro is so tired of fighting.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 3
Kudos: 181
Collections: Quality Persona Fics





	at another place in time (you were infinitely mine)

**Author's Note:**

> title shamelessly taken from berenstein by the band camino (seriously.. it's their song)

The knock on his apartment door is so unexpected Goro nearly jumps out of his skin. It would have been even if he had been doing anything but staring at his bedroom wall after crying so hard he tried to scratch the dirty tears out of his cheeks— he had no right to be crying.

He creeps to the entrance almost in apprehension. No one ever visits him here. He doesn't think anyone ever has.

Goro opens the door just enough to peek outside, and then he's pretty sure he's hallucinating, because Ren Amamiya is standing there, breathing, alive, and there's no bullet wound on his forehead, though the rest of his face is covered in bruises. Goro's blood freezes in his veins, and he offers no resistance when Ren ( _Ren?!_ ) nudges the door open.

"Can I come in?" he asks. His deep, soft, beautiful voice rings in Goro's ears and he doesn't answer. He doesn't believe in ghosts, so he wonders if maybe Ren's brain is still somewhere in that interrogation room and he's now incapable of intelligent thought, to be inviting himself into his murderer's home. Ren, inexplicably, seems to take Goro's silence as a yes.

"You're alive," Goro says, dumbly, when Ren ( _Ren!_ ) closes the door softly behind him and it's just Goro and the biggest regret of his life standing just inside that sad little apartment in the middle of Shibuya.

"I am."

Goro's brain feels like it's filled with soggy cotton. He can't think. He can't do _anything_. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, in the dim lighting of Goro's apartment entrance, and then—

Ren's arms wrapping around his waist and Ren's chin resting on his shoulder feel incredibly distant. As if there's a thick blanket between them and he can only faintly feel Ren's touch. As if he's imagining it. He must be. 

"I—" Goro starts. He has no idea what he wants to say. He's terrified. "I watched you die." Wrong. "No, I— I _killed_ you."

"And I forgive you," Ren says, without a hint of hesitation. Goro feels the words reverberating in his chest more than he hears them.

What? _What?_ , Goro thinks desperately. " _Why?_ " he asks instead. It occurs to him, distantly, that Ren, the boy he killed, the boy he shot, point-blank, right between the eyes, is still holding him and his own arms hang pathetically at his sides. When was the last time someone hugged him? Goro can't remember. He has certainly never deserved it less than he does now.

"Because I know you," Ren answers, and Goro knows it is true. "Because I know that you had no other choice," he continues, insanely, "and I'm offering you one now."

Goro wants to refuse. He wants to march right out the front door and all the way to Shido's office, shoot his absolute failure of a father dead and then himself. He knows that's not an option, because Ren, stupid, caring, _forgiving_ Ren, is still there, alone with Goro in his apartment. Alone, with the boy who betrayed him and his friends and tried to kill him. Jesus fucking Christ.

No words come out of Goro's mouth. What is he supposed to say? Instead he laughs, hysterically and without any humour, and Ren steps back, a crease between his brows and a fearless set to his jaw. God, but he is beautiful.

"Why are you doing this?" Goro pleads, If Ren continues to show him this absurd kindness he might end up crying, and then he'll be angry, and he is _so damn tired_ of feeling angry. Why is Ren not afraid that Goro will try to hurt him again? Why does Ren _trust him_?

Why is Ren, alive and safe, going through the effort of coming all the way here to— what? Offer him a second chance? Goro wants to hate him for it, but he just feels numb.

"Come back to LeBlanc with me," Ren says, ignoring his question. "It'll be just us and Sojiro and Morgana. You can tell me your side of the story, and I'll tell you mine." 

Goro has to fight back another wave of laughter. "And you're not afraid I'll try to finish the job I clearly failed the first time?" he asks even though he already knows the answer.

"No."

"I don't think Sakura-san or your friends will be very happy with you."

"They're your friends, too."

Goro wants to punch him. "Do you realize," he bites out, "that _I_ am the one who killed Okumura? Wakaba Isshiki? That I _shot_ you?" Are there no limits to this guy's forgiveness? How has he survived for this long? Whatever makes him think Haru or Futaba, or any of the other Thieves, for that matter, would want anything to do with him ever again?

"Yes," Ren answers, unfazed. "And now I want you to tell me— tell _us_ why you did all that."

In the space of time that it takes Goro to wrap his mind around whatever the hell is going on, Ren's shoulders slump and his face softens into something indescribably sad. It is so fucking unfair. 

"Please, Goro," he asks, as if Goro shouldn't be the one dropping to his knees right then and there and begging for Ren's forgiveness and a merciful death at his hands. Good thing, because Goro would never. He's come too far to fool himself with fantasies of mercy. "Let me help you."

Ren reaches for him again, he thinks, but Goro jerks back until his back hits the wall and Ren's stupidly warm and gentle hands grasp air.

"You don't know what you're saying," he says to a spot above Ren's left ear. "I— I don't—" 

_I don't deserve this_ , Goro thinks he wants to say. _Just let me finish this so I can finally rest._

All words fly out the window along with the rest of his resolve, though, because Ren is suddenly _there_ and he's gripping Goro's arms and holding him in place while he— kisses him.

Goro gives up. Just— lets go. He knows he is no match for Ren physically, even if he wanted to try, which he— doesn't. Ren's death was a key point in his revenge on Shido and he was willing to trample on his own feelings for it. Why would someone as perfect as him want to be with something like Goro, anyway?

But now Ren is, again, proving him so terribly wrong, and offering absolution in the shape of his fingertips against Goro's jaw and his teeth on Goro's bottom lip. and what does it matter if he goes with the only person who has ever shown him, the real him, any semblance of friendship? The boy who refuses to give up on him, the boy he has been in love with for months? Goro has always been selfish.

Ren rests his forehead against Goro's and their noses are touching and Goro realizes he's crying. The surprising part is that he doesn't really care. Ren's thumb wipes a tear away from his cheek and he doesn't even flinch.

"I'm so sorry," Goro whispers without thinking. Sorry doesn't begin to cover it, but if he has to spend the rest of his life working to earn everything Ren is offering him, he will. Goddamnit, he will.

"I know," Ren says, so quietly Goro almost misses it. He wants to kiss him again. He's not sure he's allowed, but he wants to be. "You don't have to do this alone, I swear."

Goro brings his hand up to the one Ren has resting on his face still and holds it in a death grip. " _Please_." He doesn't know what he's asking for.

"Yes," Ren answers, like it's simple, and maybe it can be, eventually. Goro has been hurting for _so long_ , and if Ren has seen all the ugly, disgusting parts he hides inside and is still here, offering to help ease his pain, well. Goro has never been a good enough person to refuse him. If Ren were to walk out his door and leave him here, he might as well be dead.

"Okay," Goro says, and the way Ren's eyes brighten at that single word might be the most cruel thing that he's ever seen. "I'll go with you, if— if that's what you want." He'll do anything, if it's what Ren Amamiya wants.

One corner of Ren's mouth tugs upward, just a little, just enough that Goro notices. "It is what I want," he says, resolutely. Goro thinks he finally, _finally_ understands why so many people would trust this _boy_ with their lives and confide so much in him. He lacks the words to explain it, but he can _see_ it now. There's just— something about him. Something just in the reach of Goro's dirty, dirty fingers if he wanted to extend his hand, so he does, and brings Ren closer by the front of that hideous purple hoodie so he can kiss him again.

It's sloppy and frantic and short, since it is, in fact, only Goro's second kiss in his life, but since Ren took it upon himself to steal his first, he'll have to deal. Does Ren even know? He probably does. He's probably proud of it. Ren laughs against his lips and Goro feels faint.

"We have a lot to discuss," Ren says, ever so softly.

"Yes," Goro says, "but we have— we have time now," he finishes, suddenly unsure. He doesn't remember the last time he contemplated a future beyond Masayoshi Shido's death at his hands. It feels a little like being drunk, he thinks.

"Yeah," Ren agrees. "We do."

**Author's Note:**

> i just have this wild fantasy where things work out for goro for once in his life and i just. i had to


End file.
